Not your normal daily thoughts, but incessant intrusive thoughts that can derail any progress I planned on making for the day. It's like I constantly have to be stimulated, so I'll jump online and then there is an endless rabbit hole of thoughts and questions, and I'll google every single one, and next thing you know...it's time to go bed.
There's a name for this: Attention Deficit Disorder.
I've known that I had this problem since at least high school, but with the stigma surrounding it and the over-diagnosis of people, I decided "I don't need medication for this." Plus, like many people with ADD, I AM able to focus in intense short bursts. My job is perfect, it's deadline driven and there is some type of euphoric feeling I get when I finish last minute.
However, a few months ago, I realized that I truly had a hard time focusing, it was to the point of frustration, and at times felt debilitating, seriously. I started a medication that really helped change my life, and that's when the idea of starting a blog really took shape. I could center myself and quiet my thoughts, and then words would flow...
Right after launching this blog, the hurricane happened, and I was working on a project for a friend. Life got really busy, I was really tired, and writing a post seemed overwhelming. I'd also stopped taking my medication. Motivation dipped down to ZERO.
I'm back to trying to find that quiet place, and will start back with my pills because that helps me to be a better "self." I didn't start this post with any intent at all to share this part of my journey, but I'm a semi-open book. Thought I'd let you know why things have slowed down so quickly. I plan on getting back on the grind, and can hopefully share my endless loop of thoughts at least a couple times a week. Thanks for joining me...