I haven't taken much time to process my feelings about the Pulse attack in Orlando on June 12th.
News has a way of forcing you to move on, until it's convenient to bring up again. It never stops, it pummels through, repeating ad nauseum...and then provides no relief.
But, here I am at four in the morning, back at this place for work. Every time I visit, which is often, emotions hit me. Sometimes they are strong, sometimes it's just a quick moment of sadness. This morning was different. No real reason why. I stepped outside of my live truck, and I felt like I could feel the spirits of the 49 people who died inside that nightclub. It almost seems abstract, unreal, maybe we'll wake up from it all. We won't.
The area was more bare this morning. The fence you see in the back used to be filled with pictures, letters, flowers, stuffed animals from people who came to mourn from across the world. The History Center removed most of those items in preparation for a new fence to be placed further away from the road. The new fence will have colorful pictures from local artists. It's meant to be happier, remind people of the good times.
Happiness left that horrible night.
Communities are never the same when evil visits them like this. I am not the same after having covered it. I will never understand. I cannot imagine the nightmares survivors must deal with. I cannot imagine the pain.
But the world doesn't stop.
The new fence is a reminder of that, we must move forward. Even while it hurts. Cover it with something more pleasant for now.
News has a way of forcing you to move on, until it's convenient to bring up again. It never stops, it pummels through, repeating ad nauseum...and then provides no relief.
But, here I am at four in the morning, back at this place for work. Every time I visit, which is often, emotions hit me. Sometimes they are strong, sometimes it's just a quick moment of sadness. This morning was different. No real reason why. I stepped outside of my live truck, and I felt like I could feel the spirits of the 49 people who died inside that nightclub. It almost seems abstract, unreal, maybe we'll wake up from it all. We won't.
The area was more bare this morning. The fence you see in the back used to be filled with pictures, letters, flowers, stuffed animals from people who came to mourn from across the world. The History Center removed most of those items in preparation for a new fence to be placed further away from the road. The new fence will have colorful pictures from local artists. It's meant to be happier, remind people of the good times.
Happiness left that horrible night.
Communities are never the same when evil visits them like this. I am not the same after having covered it. I will never understand. I cannot imagine the nightmares survivors must deal with. I cannot imagine the pain.
But the world doesn't stop.
The new fence is a reminder of that, we must move forward. Even while it hurts. Cover it with something more pleasant for now.
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